State University in Bridgewater, Massachusetts. I’ve had an amazing college experience and began a community college. Then I transferred and now I

have my degree in communication sciences and disorders with a minor in music. I got deeply involved in many aspects of college life, internships and advocacy

for students with disabilities. And I’m here to catch you all up all up on how it went for me since my last visit to the podcast almost two years ago. I’m

here with Katherine O’Brien, the host of the Autism Goes to College podcast, and I’m going to hand it over to her.

Hey everyone, Dom, thanks for joining me. Congratulations.

I am so proud of you from the time I met you as a high school freshman until now as a college alumnest. It’s just

wonderful. So, how how did it go in the final semester and you know in that exciting breathless push to graduation?

Um, truthfully and realistically, um, well, it’s been a great four years, but in the push to graduation,

um, there was a lot of like, you know, transition stuff. It was a big transition in my life, similar to when I transitioned

from high school to post high school at milestones and then from post high school to college.

Probably the biggest transition since then. And it wasn’t without my moments of like, you know, getting stressed, getting disregulated at times.

That being said, what matters is it’s not about how many times you fall down.

It’s about it’s about how many times you get back up and keep going. And I decided like like the the me from like five or six

years ago would have wanted me to keep getting up and keep doing what I’m doing. and that’s what I decided to do with the help of many people I’ve met during my time at BSU.

It’s so good to hear that your support network helped you manage some of those moments of intensity around the

transition because it can be really hard and destabilizing.

Um, absolutely. Were there any things that particularly helped um managing that or

was it just really the support and love of your community?

Um partially the support I had from my community and also the fact that I had a lot of good

things to look forward to. But openly I’ll admit this. The one biggest thing that I would say I struggled with during

my college experience was especially during this past semester, I was really burning both ends of the candle. Mhm.

Like overloading my schedule with too many activities. And I decided going into my grad school year where I have a little more free time in my schedule

that that’s not what I want to do. I don’t want to burn myself out. And I believe it’s important not to do that.

Um, despite that, I did have a lot of support from my fellow pro staff at Center for Student Engagement as well as my pro staff at Student

Accessibility Services and all those that I worked with at Excel and at CPDC. So, despite all this, I still had an amazing support system, lot to look forward to.

It’s just important to to be realistic. Well, it’s like it’s like

the kinks used to say, stop, hold on, stay in control. And that’s what I decided I want to do going forward.

And also focusing a little bit more on like, you know, okay, so I’ve had moments where I’ve gotten irritated over transitions, but what do I do to prevent myself from getting to those moments?

And that’s what I want to focus on going into grad school because I’ve made a lot of improvements with that over time, but it’s never too late to keep improving and that’s what I want to do.

Yeah. And I think, you know, to an extent as autistic people, transitions are always kind of provocative and

challenging, but we can definitely also have a lifelong practice of of getting more able to tolerate that and having a better repertoire of skills.

Exactly. And nobody’s perfect either.

It’s like my old BCBA used to say, Rome wasn’t built in the day. And we put an emphasis on progress, not perfection.

And I really want to put an emphasis on that going forward when I’m in grad school. Absolutely.

That that isn’t to say I didn’t accomplish a lot during my time as an undergrad, though, because I feel like I’ve got a great deal of stuff that I’ve

accomplished. In fact, I know I do, and I only look forward to accomplishing even greater things in the future.

Yeah. Were there specific parts of the transition out of undergrad life that were really challenging? Just so maybe

folks who are in their sec second to last or final semester can kind of think ahead.

Um, so what I So for students who are going into their second to last or final semester, you’re going to have a lot of

activities piled into your schedule, whether it be senior activities, um, like the senior dance, the Crimson

Gala, as well as the senior Red Sox game and other stuff. What I recommend is don’t try to do everything. Don’t pile too many activities onto your schedule.

go to what you can go to, but don’t burn yourself out. Also, senior year is a time where like, you know, people tend

to overspend a lot. I And what I recommend doing is like, you know, watch your budget. Keep in into perspective

what you’re spending on. Think, will this purchase be worth it in the long run? And it’s also important to think about what your next steps are. Do I

want to live independently? Do I want to go to grad school? Do I want a full-time job? Do I want to do all three?

Yeah, it’s a very like, you know, pick your path situation. And also, don’t apply for just one job. Apply to like 30 or 40

different jobs because I know people who have gotten to a situation where like, you know, they apply to one and they don’t get it. And I knew that that

wasn’t a position I wanted to be in. I already have like 10 different graduate assistantships and planning on applying to, which fingers crossed I get one. But

I was able to get a job at the YMCA which um just started the other day and also an internship with the Neurodiversity Alliance. So

like you know good things will happen like you know even if you think you can’t get to that milestone never say never you will be able to get there if

you work for it. And also don’t spend a lot of time comparing yourself to others, comparing it to people who might have more than you, being like, “Oh,

this person has that. This person has this stuff that I don’t have.” Instead of looking at them and being like, “I

wish I was that person or wish I could like, you know, have what they have.” Think about what can I do to take the

steps to get there. what can I do to take the steps to get to that apartment, to get to that job, to have some

success? Because like, you know, success isn’t always about how much you have. It’s also about how you treat people.

That’s what I how I look at it.

And not only that, but also and how far you’ve come. Absolutely. And also, don’t walk through life trying to be somebody you’re not. I believe Kurt Cobain said

it best. wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. So yeah, embrace embrace yourself. Learn to accept yourself.

Do things on your own time at your own pace and that is how you are going to thrive.

Yeah. So um academically, how was the coursework as a senior? Did it get

harder? How did you manage the last year?

Um, my academic course load was much harder during the fall than it was during the spring. But I think part of why it was

hard wasn’t because the classes were hard. It was mainly because I piled too many activities onto my schedule. And also, I was working 18 to 20 hours a week on average.

Oh, yeah. That is a lot of hours.

They have a rule at BSU, you can only work 20 hours a week full-time if you’re a student employee.

Mhm. It’s 20 hours during the school year and 40 during the summer. But it was still a lot that I was trying to do.

And the big lesson I learned from this is you can’t do everything. You can’t burn yourself out when you got to put a class

first. You are a student first. There are two things that come before your involvement always. And those are one

your work as a student and two your mental health. And if you prioritize those things above anything else,

that’s how you’re going to thrive. This event may look fun that you want to go to, but it’s important you prioritize your own mental health, well-being, and academics in the midst of doing that.

And speaking of things that can help with prioritizing your academics and really getting the most out of them and your mental health, um, accommodations

and supports, did you change what you requested or used over the last couple years? Have you continued to work with an academic coach?

Yes, I did. Well, I I still I’ve worked with academic coaching all four years of my time at BSU, but this past year as a

senior, it was especially helpful. I have a different one I work with every year, so that’s awesome.

And uh the academic achievement center, some people might look at it from the outside and say, “Oh, it’s cool. I should check it out. But there’s a real

mistake you can make in not taking advantage of resources like the academic achievement center, career services,

center for student engagement, other types of involvement on campus, involvement fairs, career fairs, and resource fairs. 92% of BSU students from

the classes of 2024 and 25 from fact reported being enrolled

full-time in a job or in grad school or living independently within six months to a year of graduating. So it really

shows to you how beneficial those resources will be to you and to take advantage of them.

Absolutely. And and I’ve been a strong advocate for encouraging others to use them too.

Yeah. And I think it’s important to see successful, happy students who are just like, “Yeah, I use this. I love it. It

helped me.” Um, absolutely. Last time we were we were talking, you were thinking ahead kind of entertaining graduate

school versus workforce and career options with the communication sciences and disorders degree that were either

the traditional speech language pathology or alternative routes. I know you’re headed to grad school, but talk us through your career aspirations and what you’re thinking right now.

So, I took speech and hearing science in the spring of 2024. It was my third ever speech language pathology class.

And I decided, okay, this field probably isn’t the field that was right for me.

But it was my advisor, Dr. Iker. Shout out to her. She’s my rock. She um I’ve learned more from her than I

have any other faculty during my time at BSU. And she told me when I felt like I wanted to drop the major, don’t drop the

major because there are other directions you can do with this field. And so I decided that I wanted to go to grad

school for higher ed administration through BSU and I want to do work to become a disability and accessibility

services coordinator or work in higher ed.

Yes. after graduation, whether it be working in admissions, student accessibility services, an Excel type program, center for student engagement type program.

I want to do that when I I want to do that when I graduate and I’m planning on moving out to Western Mass hopefully or Western or Central

Mass and working at a college or state university out there. That being said, I feel like I’ve made a really big impact at BSU and I want to make an impact on a

school where maybe they don’t have as much knowledge of disability and accessibility services or there isn’t a lot of representation of those students

on campus. So, yeah, and that’s what I’ve been looking at.

I I know you have some interim work lined up, but is there a career center on campus to aid you in achieving these bigger like career dreams and goals?

Yeah.

Yep. And they have a graduate assistantship that I’m planning on applying for. So, I have like eight or nine graduate assistantships I’m considering applying for, but my top

ones are Excel, Career Services, and the Academic Achievement Center. So, yeah. Well, best of luck. It only takes

one, but I think there is obviously a lot of uh wisdom in applying to several because that way, you know, you’re

hedging your bets. It’s never a good idea to Well, graduate assistantships are great because if you do a graduate assistantship at BSU, your tuition gets

waved and you get free parking, which I think that’s pretty cool.

You mentioned that you’re thinking of eventually living in central or western Massachusetts, but you know, last time

we spoke, you had decided against moving into the dorms as an undergraduate. What are you thinking of for housing during grad school?

Um, for housing during grad school, it’s a one-year program. So, I’m planning on living at home to save money from

whatever GA thing I do, whatever internship I’m doing with the Neurodiversity Alliance, which I’m also attending their conference in Denver

this year to learn awesome about neurodiversity leadership on college campuses and how to expand that. And I’m very excited about that.

And also, whatever I make at the Y.

um planning on saving that up for an apartment. Super responsible.

Yes. And moving out to Western Mass to pursue a career out there, which if you’ve ever been to Northampton, Northampton is a wonderful community,

very inclusive, lots of things. I love seeing their disability accessibility, multiculturalism,

people from all different cultures and backgrounds blending together. And I immediately thought to myself, I’ve been there like eight or nine times and I

love what I see. Just keeps getting better and better each time. And I like, yeah, this is around the area where I want to work.

Yeah. So that five colleges, Pioneer Valley area around Northampton just feels like home, I’m hearing. Oh, absolutely. No question there.

Yeah. And and you know, the arts and culture scene uh brings me back to your Yeah, that’s the other thing. The arts

and music. Yeah, it brings me back to your minor in music. Have you been playing in any bands still? Like what

what is your uh music involvement going like right now? This past year I participated uh both semesters in the

corral performance, the pop vocal performance, the um my professor’s individual voice recital which I had

done for seven semesters in a row and also um and also participating in

various talent shows across campus. um the Best Buddies talent show, the Crimson’s Got Talent talent talent show,

and also I probably won’t be doing any BSU music performances in the fall. But I decided that I want to continue

performing um performing at um local music venues throughout Massachusetts and expanding my music career because I want to do

higher ed by day and local gigs by night. That’s how I want to do my career. And not only that, but I also

decided that um I’ve been reaching out to friends for music venue recommendations. And I have a friend who

lives in Grafton, Massachusetts, who told me that there is actually a venue in her hometown that does open mics. So when she gets the name of the place,

she’s going to let me know so I can go play there.

Okay. Well, Massachusetts music fans, look for a dom at an open mic near you.

Um, thank you. I I I wondered about any bands, but obviously the answer was many bands. Um, so did you finish out your

undergrad uh degree as a commuter student? Do you have any commuter student pro tips now that you’ve been at it for a while?

I did all four years as a commuter and I was still able to go to hundreds of events.

And I will say to any commuter student looking to get involved, old or new, don’t think that just because you’re a commuter that that means you can’t get

involved. take advantage of the opportunities that are offered to you.

Get involved, make the most of it, and pretty much anything that’s open to a resident is open to a commuter as well.

And there’s always something happening every day across campus. So, definitely take advantage of that.

Yeah. Yeah. Definitely keep your eyes open for opportunities to be involved.

Um, and so I know you’ve done a variety of work with campus centers, with orientation, um, and around building, you know,

disability community and neurodiversity community. Um, what’s the work been like lately? What have what have you been accomplishing?

Well, for the second year in a row, the Excel students got to attend graduation at Exfinity Center. And, uh, in addition

to that, for the second year in a row, um, they got to attend the Crimson Gala.

the senior dance and they have had continuing growing involvement in program counsel. My friend Dylan is one of our most loyal supporters at Program

Council. What’s up Dylan? Giving you a shout out. Um and uh I also made a goal for myself at the beginning of the

school year being like, “Okay, one of your goals because it was my final year on the program counseling board. Dom,

you’re gonna find somebody who is just as passionate about disability inclusion as you are and is

going to continue the stuff that you’ve been doing. And I met this really nice girl named Alandre. And Alandre is a really good friend.

We’ve been become really good friends ever since the beginning of her freshman year and my senior year. And the moment

I met her was the moment I knew she was going to do good things for the world.

and she is in this year alone she’s won an impact award and an access allstar award got accepted to the program

council and best buddies and dia freak eboards and I’m like she’s going somewhere she’s going to continue what I started and I also wanted to give you a

shout out to two of my other friends my good friend Kora and my good friend Alex both of which are awesome people also started this

past year at BSU and are looking to make a difference in creating a disability and accessibility ility campus advocacy

at BSU. So, it really warms my heart to see three people and counting who I know are going to want to continue the stuff

that I started and are looking to continue making an impact. Like, it really Yeah, it feels amazing. But yeah, I mean, that’s

I also got to give a shout out to the pro staff that I’ve worked with at CSE for making this all happen because a lot of this stuff that’s happening now,

people say, “Oh, Dom, you did this.” And I’m like, I wouldn’t have been able to make it happen without the support of my fellow pro staff and student staff at

cse, excel, tour guides, sass, admissions, academic achievement center, and so on. So yeah, and everybody at BSU comedy.

Could you tell us a little bit more about the Excel students and how you got involved with working with that program?

So I got involved with the Excel program through Best Buddies.

Um, a lot of our Excel students partake in Best Buddies and some of them have served on the Eboard as well as the Eboard of Special Olympics.

Um, Excel is a post-secary program for students with disabilities on campus.

Um, and uh, what is it? Yeah. And, um, we help them with a variety of skills like daily

living skills. Um, we have ILS workshops, independent living skills, as well as um a variety of things such as

um like peer mentors that help with them, ed coaches that help with them, and a variety of people

who serve in those roles to help with them. and it’s a great program to be a part of. But in in in recent years, we’ve had a lot of Excel students who

have wanted to get more involved with things like our program council group, which puts in all of our largescale events run by students for students, as

well as more opportunities to be involved in student life at like involvement fairs and stuff and more

desire to have people without disabilities at their events like Best Buddies events. And

I also had been an advocate for these students to make sure that they were not integrated but included. And because

inclusion everybody’s involved as opposed to integration where they’re at one table kind of separate away from everybody. But when I when we the first

couple of dimes where we got them to go to Crimson Gala to graduation to be involved in events across campus,

those were moments of my life and my time at BSU that I’ll never forget and in the best way possible. And I’ve said

it before about Crimson Gala. Those were two of the sweetest nights of my life.

And if I had to spend four years at BSU just to experience those two nights, it would be two four years well worth it.

So, Excel students have intellectual and developmental disabilities, and you got involved because you were mentoring with

Best Buddies, which is a peer-to-peer mentorship organization.

Yep. I also worked as a peer mentor for the Excel program as well, both a day mentor and a night mentor. And and speaking of broader advocacy efforts, I

know there’s been some meaningful progress on the blue envelope bill in Massachusetts lately, can you tell us a

little more about that and what’s been happening?

I got pulled over at the end of March at one point.

Yeah. And I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but the officer who took my blue envelope, he checked it out and he

immediately knew what it was and he said he gave me a warning which was like, you know, be safe on the roads and all that, but also gave me an offer to speak at

the local police department in their town about the blue envelope bill advocacy. And I’m going to do that with them next month.

Oh, that’s wonderful. Not only that, but uh I also went to the state house last year to support it with my mom.

And this past weekend, this past week, it um passed the house and is now on the

way to Governor Mara Healey’s desk to be signed into law.

Yeah. So, for those of you that may live in a state without a blue envelope uh bill or law, the blue envelope is a

optional program for autistic and otherwise similarly disabled drivers. So that when you’re in a high stakes

interaction with law enforcement where you might have autistic distress behaviors or it might be hard to communicate socially, um the envelope

around your driver’s license lets the officer know in a like a non-confrontational manner that keeps it safe for everybody that you have a

disability that should be accommodated respectfully. Um, so that’s what that’s about. And Dom and his mom have been

pretty instrumental in um getting that program enacted in Massachusetts. And uh the legislation is to kind of mandate

training and support of it throughout the state.

Yep. Well, our main goal is to have local law enforcement be just as aware of it as state law enforcement is

because lo student people with autism mainly do driving in their local communities and we wanted to put an emphasis on that. Yeah, certainly a lot

of autistic people prefer or choose not to drive on the freeway, so we are more likely to interact with local

law enforcement agencies. Um, yeah. Yeah.

And goodness knows I get very anxious every time I’m pulled over. Um, so it’s something that I care a lot about as

well. You’ve accomplished, you know, so much. um from starting at community college to now earning your BA and

getting that grad school acceptance and forging that bold path forward. Looking back, any advice for autistic students

just starting out in college or kind of in the middle of it, in the thick of things, what what do you wish you’d been told or what do you want to tell people?

The three most important life lessons that I’ve learned that got me to where I am now as a college student. First and

foremost, don’t worry about what other people think. You know, if you like you, that’s what matters most. And secondly,

and more importantly, don’t try to be somebody you’re not. And don’t compare yourself to others. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is you.

And you know, wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. And thirdly, and more importantly, this is the most important one, look at the world from a perspective of so what?

Mhm.

So what if something didn’t turn out the way I wanted to? So what if things aren’t going according to planned? So what if I have to make changes? Instead

of being all upset about that sort of stuff, take steps to think about what can I do to solve this problem? what can

I do better next time? And the more you focus on a solution as opposed to being focused on the problem,

the more you are likely to thrive in college. And also seek support from others too if you don’t know the answer.

Yeah, absolutely. And I I will say going along with the, you know, leaning into your authenticity and not just doing

what everybody’s doing because it feels like the way to to to blend in. You know, I was so much happier after my first year when I stopped kind of people

pleasing and and narrowed in with fewer, more authentic friendships who we really

had common interests and we we really could be ourselves. And I think that that is really good advice for anybody

is to focus on, you know, being yourself rather than a pale imitation of somebody else.

Yeah, exactly.

And that’s one thing that I love about our Excel students. I’ve worked at Excel for three years and I have never once seen one Excel student be like, I’m

going to be part of the status quo just because it’s what other people are doing. Like, and Fred Clark even said it

at graduation, if you want to talk about the heart of BSU, those are your people right there. I couldn’t agree more.

Yeah, absolutely. And I think, you know, that’s great, meaningful, true

inclusion. Um, so congratulations again and congratulations on your acceptance

to grad school for the masters in higher ed administration. That’s really exciting. I think the higher ed space

needs people like you, Dom, who have the the passion and the fire and the lived experience of what works.

Thank you. Thank you so much, Catherine.

Yeah. And and I mean, we’re all so proud of you. I can’t wait to tell the other folks who worked with you when you were, you know, just just a cool teen hanging in high school.

I I still can’t believe I did it.

I I can, but you know, it definitely took a lot of tenacity and determination on your part.

Thank you. All right, and that’s our show.

Thank you so much for having me, Catherine. I appreciate it.